The Day

Today has been a day full of trying to locate, find and put things away.

It all started out with a phone call last night from the library asking me if I had the 3 audio book CD's that were not in the case when I returned them to the library. Who does this? Not only who does this, but who does it twice? Yes, that is right, it is the second time that I have forgotten to put a few of the audio CD's back in the case. I am surprised that the library has not confiscated my card.

It seemed like forever today to put away loads of laundry. It was as if the clothes moved from one basket or appliance to another, then to one pile or another before it was actually put away in everyone drawers. The bonus though, was I found Carson's black shirt he needs for this weekend's violin concert.

I spent way to much time trying to find a box tonight that had all of my rings in it. I took my rings off for our trip so I would not have to worry about them sliding off my fingers in Disneyland (when its cold my rings are constantly slipping off). So, I placed my rings in the box, then decided to move the box to a more "safe" location. 5 days later, I realized my rings are not on and went on the hunt to find "the box." It was so frustrating, I knew I had put the rings in the box, and I clearly remember moving the box to a "safer" location, but for the life off me I could not find the box. In the end, I had moved paper from one of my many piles to another only to put a pile of papers on top of the box. In the end, after a few deep breaths, the rings were located and placed on their rightful fingers.

Then because I seem to have issues prioritizing, organizing and keeping track of dates, it occurred to me that on the first of December we need to have Carson's teachers gift to her since it is an advent type gift for her dog. So off to Walmart Market we run, since we did not have the glitter or glue we needed, only to find out that they do not have glue, then to another store where we located glitter glue, and on the way home realized I forgot a gift sack.

Some days it seems that life should not have to be so hard or difficult, but tomorrow is a new day and maybe my neurotransmitters will send better signals tomorrow.

So, now I am exhausted of looking and trying to locate things, so I think I am going to read my fabulous women with ADD book.

Family Day

I thought Thanksgiving was a family day where everyone sat around the table eating turkey and watching football. Apparently I was wrong. They were all at Disneyland joining us for Thanksgiving.

I was amazed at all the people there. Lines for rides were long, some up to 60 minutes, restroom lines were long and food lines were crowded. People were bumping into each other on every turn, and people were like vultures finding a piece of sidewalk to sit on for the parade.

It was an expensive way to ignore the Thanksgiving holiday, but in the end we all had a good time.

We're off to see the Mickey

In 5 hours I will have the car packed, dog to the "doggie hotel," oil change in the car, and will round up my kids, husband, Aunt Di and Nana and we will be off to the "happiest place on earth" for Thanksgiving.

For the last 34 years, all I ever remember is the stress of Thanksgiving. It began with cooking the traditional "Thanksgiving meal"for a small family of 4, cleaning the house till it was spotless (although we never had company join us) . The stress fluctuated on however, and whatever, my moms shifting mood decided to focus on.

As an adult, I thought I would alleviate stress by having Thanksgiving at my house and that did not work, stress galore. Then I decided to have Thanksgiving not only at my house, but order pre prepared Thanksgiving meals from the local grocery store, well stress came in the boxed meal I guess.

So, we shall do the very mentally unhealthy response to this and just deny and ignore the holidays existence so I don't have to deal with it and head to Disneyland.

We're off!!

Thank You Concerta

I have realized for some time now that my attention and distractability have been steadily increasing and it has concerned me. I decided to research more about adult ADHD instead of child focused ADHD. I found a fantastic resource and checklist that posed the symptoms specific and adult tailored. Here are a few of my ADHD highlights:

• frequently misplaces things (where are my keys, where is my phone?)
• difficulty learning new tasks because it is hard to stay on track during directions
• restlessness (evident to my nail biting and picking)
• internal sense of anxiety and nervousness
• low frustration tolerance, impatient
• chronically in a hurry (get up at 5:45 in the morning, and yet it is a rush to leave to school the last 5 minutes before we need to leave)
• often have piles of stuff
• poor financial management, late bills (every stinkin month!)
• chronic procrastination and poor follow through (laundry!!!!!!)
• difficulty waking up in the morning
• periods of low energy and frequently feeling tired (always, and constant)

Even after seeing all of these symptoms/characteristics, I did not do anything until it hit the point that I could not sit to finish a client note at work without getting up, and actually not finishing a note all together. Yet still I did not make the call until I missed a school project due date for my son. At that point it was effecting my sons education.

Needless to say I made the appointment, saw the doctor and after some discussion decided to try the stimulant Concerta. Wow!! I have energy, I have focus, I have follow through, I can complete on task before moving on to the next, oh and did I mention energy!!

On my first day back to work on the Concerta it was wonderful. My desk was a complete disaster and nightmare (see picture below), but I was able to prioritize and organize while staying completely seated and not having to get up in the middle of writing notes and organizing my charts.

Thank You Concerta.

A Letter

Dear Carson-

I know school is not your favorite activity right now. You find it hard to focus and concentrate, do not like homework and say you are often confused. This we are all working on together, you, me, your teachers and doctor. I have empathy for you and your struggles and I often felt the way you did during school, except that I was not nearly as intelligent as you are.

I know the Wild West is not that exciting of a subject to spend a month learning about (especially since you are easily bored and it is not a subject you choose to learn about), but, when you wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me you do not want to create the game we came up with together for your school project, I just have to tell you to go back to bed. Sorry it is causing you anxiety, fret and distress, but 2 in the morning is not my best time little man.

It is best to leave that discussion for tomorrow morning.

It Starts Today

Carson and I (mostly me) had a great experience yesterday. We actually met with a pediatrician who sat down in our room and took an active interest in why we had come to her, and took an in depth family history! I could not believe it. I have never seen a pediatrician take so much time with a family. It seems like the doctors we have seen always had their hand on the door the minute they walked in. It was so refreshing to be treated with respect and dignity in a health care setting and not feel pushed through like a cattle call.

Well all discussed and agreed that Carson has enough clinical symptoms of attention deficit that we are trying him on low dose of stimulants to try and help his neurotransmitters function at an optimal level. I am leery about giving it to him and sending him to school, but I don't want to put it off either, waiting for the "perfect" time to start.

Here is hoping he has a good day and can say good bye to dream land and focus at school today.

The A's

The A's are attacking our house.

They happen to be Attention Deficit Disorder, Anxiety and Asthma.

Asthma. Has been worse, has been better. At least Carson is not on an oral steroid due to an earlier flare up, but he has to have his lung functioning assessed again in two months to see if the preventative inhalers have helped to repair damaged lung tissue. We had a late night visit to the urgent care when he started wheezing one night. He had been symptom free for over six months. Welcome back fall allergies and the cold weather. Wish Carson's asthma did not come with you.

(Carson having a treatment in the car on the way to school).

Anxiety runs rampant in our family. My grandma, dad, sister, mother and probably my mother in law are all affected by anxiety. Adeline is a daily nail picker and is worse in new situations and I am always trying to create new ways to help alleviate the nail picking. I thought this nail picking was just a bad habit, but after careful observation I believe it is related to anxiety. It certainly doesn't help when the poor kid sees her, at times, anxious aunt and mother picking at their nails during times of stress. Adeline has become a great reminder that we should all find something to hold in our hands so we don't pick our nails.

(case in point, picking her nails at her preschool Halloween party).

Attention Deficit Disorder. Carson is showing some major signs of ADD and will be seeing the doctor on Monday. Because my husband is ADD I knew genetically it would be a high probability that at least one child would have ADD or ADHD. Then I was really paying attention to my attention and started to notice how distracted I got driving, wandering thoughts, starting one activity and moving to the next without finishing anything, and impulse buying (never anything big, but those little things sure add up). Anyway, I found an adult ADD symptom checklist, and lets just say, since I have lost the checklist 4 times, my probability is pretty high that I have many inattentive boxes checked.

I feel bad that our family is full of neurotransmitters that are not doing their job properly. I feel for my children as this will be a constant battle all their life like it has been for our family. But I do remind myself that I believe my children came to the right house. As a child therapist, I at least feel I have some tools I can impart on them and can truly empathize and understand where they are coming from. Instead of being mad when Adeline is having a total meltdown, I pull out my lovely therapist tools, take a deep breath or two and usually approach her with understanding and compassion, as she may not know what caused the outburst either, she just realizes that she may not have control of her emotions right then.

I am interested to see how Monday's appointment for Carson goes. I am always leery of new medical providers, but at least I am armed with education.

My Achen' Back

My back seems worse today. There was a glimmer of light yesterday that it was feeling better, but not this morning.

Maybe my back was somewhat reacting to a 4 year old having a total meltdown over wearing a long sleeve shirt, screaming that she wants to be cold!

In all reality though, I just don't have time for this back pain. I was rendered useless to my standards yesterday in getting my house picked up. I managed laundry and getting Carson's homework done with him (while having to stand every 2 minutes to get myself comfortable) and had a miserable time sitting at the hospital where my father has been in residence for the last 2 1/2 days.

But maybe all the action of taking kids to school, parent conferences, hospital visits and violin lessons today will keep me from being allowed to wallow in self pity that my back hurts.

I am Old

There is no denying it now, I am old.

I know my memory is going downhill, my arms are flabby and my boobs sag when unaided, but yesterdays event left no question in my mind that I am old.

I sat down on the toilet and pulled my back.

Yep, you heard me right. I sat down and pulled my back.

I was at work and had just seen my first client, went to have a quick potty break and was miserable the whole day. Because of my little back incident, I could not sit in my chair comfortably or even on the floor with my clients. 7 clients like this. I was miserable!

I took some Advil (after 3 hours of sitting at the hospital with my dad) and sprayed some magic back spray on my back that my sister provided and tried to get comfortable all night long.

I am sure the "Old People" club will be putting my membership card in the mail on Monday.

Not a Joke

So, it started off as a joke, then I gave it some real consideration, and now it is a reality. We are spending Thanksgiving in Disneyland. We will be at the "happiest place on earth" with a bunch of other like minded people who would rather forget there is a family holiday too.

My mom has been stressing for weeks over the holiday, why I am not sure. Its not like I am inviting my dad and his new wife over at the same time. Give me some credit, I know better then that. My dad is asking of our plans so he can plan with his new additional family, and my sister's husband will take off for parts unknown to go back country skiing. In trying to figure out the impossible, how to make everyone happy, or at least satisfied, I opted for Disneyland.

We were planning a Christmas Disney trip and the more I thought about it the better Thanksgiving sounded at Disneyland. No stressing about ordering food, picking it up, cleaning the house, entertaining family, arguments over how much turkey a kid must eat to have pie, and clean up (plus, the whole family drama mentioned above).

Instead, we will walk into that great restaurant by Tommorrow Land and buffet style, have our turkey dinner.

Halloween

Halloween was fun, and the kids had a great time...... but I am glad it is over.

The scary "bad" witch......




Obi Wan Kenobi from Star Wars and The Bad Glitter Witch....


Extra yummy, homemade caramel apples....


Scary animated trick or treat house

Now on the Thanksgiving. Let the stress begin. It will be the first year that our family will have two separate holidays. Maybe we should order pizza and forget about the whole holiday, or as a friend suggested, just go to Disneyland. Hmmmmmm