Den Mother Status

Adeline tracking Papa's flight home on the computer


Every family has a particular dynamic. The dynamic is like a child's mobile, it goes round and round and has a sense of equilibrium. Every family member has their place and function that keeps this "mobile" functioning. For me, my place is den mother.

When my dad eloped and the shock of this news wore off, I have to say that I was relieved. I was relieved in the fact that if I did not hear from him, it would not be me who would have to call the police and go over to his house to make a welfare check and find him dead. I know, it is a very morbid thought, but with dad being 76, living alone and what I thought was me being his most consistent person to check on him, this was a reality. Now that he is married, he has a constant check- in person, and I can take weekly dad check -in calls off my den mother plate.

It is now his wife that will inherit everything, from personal house belongings, to bank accounts to property. She will share and distribute as she sees fit, if at all. It will leave no arguing between dad's 6 kids. I will not have to help facilitate conversations from sisters and brothers and negotiate with everyone what is fair. Check that responsibility off my den mother plate.

During my visit last night with my dad and wife, we were talking about their upcoming trip. How was it that I was asked to be a chauffeur to the airport? I have always been dad's chauffeur to the airport for his multiple trips to and from the airport. Late at night, early in the morning, I would drag the kids with me to see him off or greet him back to town. But with the new wife having 3 children in the area, I was asked for transportation. Well, that was short lived, guess my den mother status is back in place.